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From Zero to Clarity: My Journey Through Alcohol and Back to Myself

From Zero to Clarity: My Journey Through Alcohol and Back to Myself

By Rosie McMahon

At the start of 2023, I made a quiet but radical decision: to go alcohol-free. It wasn’t because I had hit rock bottom or because someone staged an intervention. It was because I had grown tired of the fog, the false energy, the subtle pull that alcohol had on me. I wanted to know who I was without it. That year became “Year Zero.”

I didn’t know what I would find on the other side of sobriety, but I committed to exploring it with open eyes and a willing heart. Year One was a revelation. The clarity, the steady energy, the deepened sleep, the unexpected emotional insights – all of it showed me just how much alcohol had been numbing and distorting.

But then came 2024. A part of me was curious: Had I gained enough control to reintroduce alcohol? Could I enjoy it in moderation now that I had learned so much?

I dipped my toe back in, cautiously. A drink here, a celebration there. But slowly, that familiar pull returned – not always loud, but always lurking. Despite everything I had learned, I found myself back in patterns that didn’t serve me. That’s when I stumbled on something that changed everything: a podcast by Dr. Andrew Huberman.

He spoke about the biological effects of alcohol – not just the social, mental, or emotional costs, but what alcohol literally does to our cells. The degradation of dopamine systems. The way alcohol hijacks our neurochemistry. And then, something hit me hard: there’s a gene that affects how our bodies process alcohol. For some people, alcohol simply doesn’t “fit.” It never will. I realized – I might be one of those people.

That was the wake-up call I didn’t know I needed. It wasn’t just about willpower or moderation. It was about truth. Biology doesn’t negotiate.

So, in January 2025, I returned to zero. No more moderation experiments. No more trying to make something work that never truly did. Just clarity. Just freedom.

And this time, it feels different. It’s not a punishment or restriction. It’s a return to self.

If You’re Choosing the Zero Path Too …

Here’s what I’ve learned that might help you if you’re considering or walking this path:

• Don’t wait for a breakdown to make a breakthrough. You don’t need to hit “rock bottom” to change. If something feels off, trust that instinct.
• Educate yourself. Science helps. When you understand what alcohol does, it becomes less about “discipline” and more about choice.
• You are not broken. If alcohol doesn’t suit you, it’s not a personal failure. For many of us, it’s a biological mismatch, not a moral one.
• Zero isn’t deprivation. It’s a doorway to a fuller, clearer, more intentional life.
• Share your story. Whether publicly or privately, your voice might be the light someone else needs.

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2023 was my test.
2024 was my reckoning.
2025 is my liberation.

If you’re here – curious, uncertain, or quietly ready – know this: you’re not alone. Choosing a life without alcohol isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being honest. And that’s the most powerful place to start.